success is a rough journey!

Yesterday, H and I ran our 1.65 miles. We did it in 17:00...not great but not running for a couple months we did great!

We motivated each other. She wont let me stop and I keep going faster to make sure she keeps up.

The afternoon we joined mu husband for some navy type pt. I forgot to restart my calorie counter so I am.not sure what it was for burn ...I know my muscles were burning!!!

Today we did insanity pure cardio again. I layed on the floor in a puddle of sweat,  swallowed my throw up and just couldn't get up. We really pushed through that workout. There wasn't room.for talking because we were both working so hard and sweating and barely breathing, and pushing we didn't have any thing else to say!!!

We are switching insanity to the morning so we have more energy.  And going to run and kettlebell in the afternoon. Insanity is going to give us amazing results we need to be able to give it more. I think I might switch over to MAX insanity...you think H will notice?

I have been drinking lots more water up until I fall asleep...and I have been staying on top of my school work better than ever. I still need to work on my eating habits. Not horrible. But no great! I have a two pound weight loss goal to reach this week,  I have to get my head right!!!!

How have y'all been!?

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I have to figure it out

I took the weekend off from working out. Instead I made sure I stayed on top of housework. I didnt drink any alcohol.
I knew that my eating over the weekend was going to set me back, but if I at least continued to drink water, and stay active cleaning my house, I wouldnt feel as bad.

Today, instead of driving to a meeting I had, I walked. I let Xoey ride her bike. It felt good, except it never feels like exercise when Im carrying my purse!

This afternoon a good friend "H" messages me and asks if I am doing Insanity this afternoon, OF COURSE! I have someone willing to come to my house and workout.

Today, we suffered through Pure Cardio. This is by far the toughest workouts on the insanity DVDs. If any of you have experienced this workout you will know why I threw up in my mouth 3 times and had to walk away a couple more.

But I succeeded. Having "H" there to support me and motivate me definitely helped. If I saw her keep going, I did too! If she stopped or slowed down, I barked some words to her. I am not sure what I said or what sounds I made because all I could hear was my heavy breathing and my heartbeat.

Of course I slipped a few times in my own sweat. GROSS. I know. But I had to add that in there. I LOVE to sweat! I always feel like Im working so much harder!

"H" and I decided that we would go running in the morning before she has to work. This works out great because the time will be before my day actually gets started and before it gets too hot outside. (I know its January folks, what can I say....Florida didnt get the memo.)

There is this strong sense of accomplishment in todays workout. I dont know if it just feels great to workout after taking the weekend off or having that companion to work out...by my side. It just felt good.

My husband got home AFTER we did the workout, so he decided to do his own workout this afternoon...I'm a little disappointed in him, but hey...its his decision.

We are going on a walk together. Hopefully that will be nice.

Now, aside from the working out, I decided to write this blog to kind of vent whats going on in my head.
There are very FEW people in my life who can affect me emotionally and mentally. When I say VERY FEW I literally mean....maybe 3.
Those 3 people can say things to me and turn my entire world upside down. They can say things and make me feel completely useless.

Its those 3 people that can ruin everything I am. Everything I have become. and everything I worked so hard for.

I cant seem to shake the things they say to me or to others, I cant let go of how they made me feel. I actually have multiple panic attacks in reference to those 3 people everytime it happens.
You are probably wondering "why dont you just get rid of those people"
I cant!! Those 3 people are the most important people in my life.
I think that may be the cause of those hard feelings.

I look at my life and who I am now. As I mentioned on Facebook, no one is perfect ...but there are certain people who intentionally point out those flaws.

Did I think when I was a little girl or a young woman graduating from high school that I would be a stay at home mom/student, did I think I would get married then divorced then married? Did I think I would be a step mom? Did I think I would hurt so many people? Did I know where I would be in 10 years?
All of these paths I have chosen in my life were just MY DECISIONS. I suffer enough from stupid decisions everyday. I suffer from wanting to be something more and want more from those around me.
I want to be loved. I want to be noticed. I want to be appreciated.
I dont know how to get those things anymore. I dont know how to speak exactly what I feel and I dont know how to get those "3" people to UNDERSTAND ME!

Im hurting a lot inside. And I dont know how to fix it..but for now, I will fix it through work outs. and schooling.

Epic Fail or Overcoming minds battles?

Yesterday I decided it was a great day to steam clean my carpets and furniture. I rented a carpet cleaner, ran all my errands and then came back to the house to get started. Thankfully I only have carpet upstairs.
I turned on my heart rate monitor and got started. I got the rest of the house clean, laundry done, walked the dogs..ran up and down the stairs TOO many times. By the time 3:30 rolled around I had burned 1775 calories. And I still hadnt done insanity.
As I waited for my hubby to come home, I got tired. More and more tired.
When he walked in the door, I said ...Im not doing insanity today. Im exhausted! He was tired too.
So we didnt.
I sat for the rest of the evening wondered if I failed or if the housecleaning workout was enough for me. I decided that my body knows best.
I wasnt going to be upset with myself because I didnt do insanity, I just chose another workout for the day.

I got up this morning ready to start the day....I jumped on the scale and lo and behold....I lost 6 pounds this week!?

How in the ?!
I tried not to get too excited, but I cant help it. I did really well eating and drinking this week and I stayed moving around all day, everyday.

I didnt drink anything last night (liquor or beer) I did however drink a coke. It sounded so good. And it was. I drank HALF of one and then drank 2 bottles of water.

I feel great today after I got on that scale. I have been moving around all day long.

I know this next week is going to be great. Im going to incorporate running this week. Start off with a simple mile and work up as the days progress.

Shock that body

Yesterday was supposed to be "cardio recovery" but I felt like I needed to change it up a little bit. So we threw in the Kettlebell Cardio dvd. Instead of starting with 10 pounds I bumped it up to 15. I really wanted to wake up some of those muscles that havent been working very hard in the last few weeks.
There were a few moments where I thought I would just have to quit, but I had to keep going. I was able to make it through the 3 sets and I felt great. I worked up a great sweat and felt good about my workout.

I made chili for dinner and made some smart choices. I usually put my chili over a huge serving of rice. But instead I used a tbsp of rice.
I made the chili with a lil bit more spice, spices help your metabolism.
I did however drink a snapple fruit punch....Big Mistake! I was cussing at myself all day and the sugar in that thing just weighed me down. I felt like WHY would I choose to drink this? I have been enjoying drinking water, and it makes me feel so good...But, i bounced back and drank more water than usual the rest of the afternoon.

Today is PURE CARDIO! No breaks---just balls to the wall cardio. This is my favorite. I feel confident about the workout because the only thing thats really sore on me today is my left calf muscle!?
I think its because I still over compensate from my ankle injury.

As Shaun T would say "DIG DEEPER"
I have this week, and I hope you have too!!!!!

Remember.....WATER, WATER, WATER!!!!

How have your workouts been this week?

Conquering not surrendering!

Day 2 Insanity.
Cardio Circuit. This is my least favorite in all of the workouts for Insanity. The Power Jumps, the moving push ups, the floor sprints...I hate them all.
I started off strong, and towards the middle my mind wandered into something completely different. The song went from Avenged Sevenfold to Maxwell! I was thinking about my relationship with my husband, thinking about mistakes I make, how out of shape I am, how much I hated the fact my heart rate was up so high.
I slowed down the minute I started doubting myself. I can see myself in the reflection on the entertainment center. I was barely moving. My mind took over my entire body.

Once I realized this, I got back into it. I did what Shaun T always says to do "DIG DEEPER". I changed my mentality quickly and focused on pushing myself further and achieving greatness no matter how much it hurt.
I almost threw up a few times. I had to walk it out. I reached the end of the workout without giving up. Its all I wanted to do.
I burned over 2,000 calories yesterday, and I made smart choices in my eating. I only drank 2 cups of coffee and the rest was water.

I realized that there is so much power in your mind.If I can keep my mind busy on the right things I can achieve greatness in a workout.
 I rely heavily on music while I workout. The music is what drives me. I can focus on workout out to the beat, or hitting it hard while the guitarist jams out. I do much better with rock music than I do with R&B. Usually I need this when I need to really push it.
Techno keeps me pumped up, like if Im running.

I guess I need to keep my thoughts in check while Im working out. At least until I am in better shape. I need to be able to stay focused on the workout itself. Going harder, and reaching my goals.

The mind is a powerful thing. I just have to learn how to control it!

My time to shine.

Good Morning Blog Followers!

It has been a LONG TIME since I last blogged. I cant believe I started this thing with such drive and ended up leaving you all hanging. I guess when you take a look at what life hands you, blogging isn't one of the priorities. I'm pretty sure if this was my job I would take it much more seriously. Like, if I had more followers or I was getting paid to talk to people about making changes in their life...then yes, I would blog constantly.

Looks like I'm simply making excuses!

As you all know a new year started. Let me back track a little bit so you can all see where I left off. 2011 was a great fitness year for me. I worked out just about everyday, increased my water intake, went on bike rides, went swimming, did MORE and MORE Zumba. I became a Zumba instructor, I made my goal weight and then WHAM!!!!! I got injured. I pulled the ligaments in my ankle. This injury put me on crutches. No weight on the foot for 6 weeks. Of course I didn't follow the doctors orders and I was back walking on it in 3...This injury, at first, kept me down. It was literally painful to even put a little weight on it.

Then it became an excuse. I was scared to work out, I was used to filling my days with other things. Working out wasn't in my daily routine anymore. And because of that I gained back all the weight I lost last year.

I cant explain to you how disappointed I am in myself. A year of working so hard, changing my life, wearing a bikini!!!! And POOF its gone. I wont go into #'s quite frankly because its simply disgusting.

But I wont look back on that. I'm going to look at today (well...and yesterday) I have committed myself again to reaching those goals. I have the right mentality and I realized yesterday, I have the physical capability.

I started Insanity again. I was able to do really well. I was shocked! Although I fell off the workout wagon I was still able to do a lot more than I thought. My favorite thing about getting in shape is the energy you have and the capability you have. I was able to RUN, SWIM, BIKE RIDE, run around with kids etc...I could last longer in everything.

I have to give a lot of that cardiovascular help credit to Zumba. Unfortunately, I have my lil one home with me...I hate asking people to watch my kids. So I have to find alternatives to working out.

I tracked all my food and workouts yesterday. I'm using an App called Noom. So far, I like it. It gives you a personal trainer coach who gives you different goals to achieve everyday.

I burned 2150 in calories and I ate 1050 in calories. Of course eating is still my ultimate challenge.

I love to workout...But I also LOVE to eat. This is why my weight loss always takes longer than most. :/ But, I'm working on that.

Once I get myself established in Insanity again I'm going to check out the cross fit gym across the street from the base. I want to step in there with some sort of physical confidence...I know what it will take for me to return. I love a challenge and I love to push myself to the limits. Cross fit will be exactly what I need.

Remember to take your Multi Vitamins, DRINK YOU WATER, and Push yourself!!!! Believe that you can go further! Don't let your mind tell your body what to do!!

Happy Workouts, Blog Followers!